I’m not sure how much I have in common with Johnny Cash since I never have or ever will meet him, but I believe it’s very little. I can play a guitar. And… That’s probably it. I’m even less sure about how accurate the movie Walk the Line depicted Mr. Cash. I imagine there are some truths, and other “facts” that were “tweaked” to make things more interesting. What I do know is that in the movie, Mr. Cash said something in response to his life that my life speaks to me. Over and over… And like him, what I want to say back is,
Don’t give me no rules. All I got are rules.
Again, I am in no way Johnny Cash, but I can appreciate someone who was apparently “living the dream” only to realize that life was living him. I imagine this big machine, the recording industry, pushing Mr. Cash to the brink, and over. All to produce the next gold record. To make a few people clap. To make a few bucks. And all Mr. Cash could do is hang on, because he found himself in the middle of an opportunity that he couldn’t pass up. He was on top of the world. And if he had any of intention of staying on top of the world, he had better obey the rules. The rules of the machine. Life was saying, follow the rules or else. Mr. Cash was saying…
Don’t give me no rules. All I got are rules.
And if he didn’t follow the rules, he would regret it. The ultimate manipulation. This is a once in a life time opportunity. Anyone would give anything to be where you are. Can’t you see it? You only get 15 minutes of fame. If you don’t follow the rules, you will regret it.
Boxes come in all shapes and sizes. Race. Religion. Age. Weight. Skill. Job. And boxes are used everywhere. Politics. Church. Marketing. Media. Work. There is no doubt we are put in boxes by others. If I were to talk about any of those boxes I would be sure to make you all mad! Because we don’t like other people’s opinions about our boxes or boxes we are put in. But that is not the point of this. The point is that the real tragedies are not found boxes people put us in, but in our self-imposed boxes.
We are spoon fed a picture of happiness from kindergarten on. From my perspective, as a guy, it looks like this. Get educated. Find something you are good at. Do that. But not for too long. Bounce around from job to job until you’ve climbed the ladder. Put some money away for a rainy day. Buy a car. Buy a house. If you are really “lucky”, you can put some change in a 401-k. Get married. Have 2.5 kids. Work. Grind. Save for the kids college. Save for retirement. If you do it right, your kids will follow in your footsteps and you can enjoy your golden years. Find a box and hide out there. Follow the rules. If you don’t, you will regret it.
In my uneducated opinion, self-imposed boxes are not composed of cardboard, wood, plastic or metal. They are composed of fear. Fear that comes from years of “education”. Fear that comes from news outlets. Fear that comes from experiences. Fear that comes from witnessing the tragedies of others. And all too often, fear of what others think of us.
Take a chance, and people will judge you. Don’t take a chance, and people will judge you. Have an opinion, and people will judge you. Become a lemming, and people will judge you. It never ends. The only way to escape this judgement is to jump in a box with people who are replicas of yourself and not do anything to dent the walls. Follow the rules of that box you put yourself in. If you don’t, you will regret it.
In my case, the insecurity is simple. I became and executive at age 40. I have no degree. In many ways, I live a life that less than 1% of people on earth live. And I am giving that up for epoch48.
Like they told Mr. Cash, this was a once in a life time opportunity. Anyone would give anything to be where you are. Can’t you see it? You only get 15 minutes of fame. If you don’t follow the rules, you will regret it. I know that there are people that think that our decision is irresponsible. I know that there are people who think we are nuts. They want to stick me, and my family, in their box. They are saying, if you don’t, you will regret it.
Don’t give me no rules. All I got are rules.
But who are these people? These judgers? They are simply people who have the same fears and insecurities as everyone they judge, but their way of making themselves feel better is to ridicule and manipulate others. Their sinister plan? Filling their box with more people like themselves. Or people that they have made like themselves. It is a viscous, destructive cycle that has cut short the potential of too many people. But not me. Not my wife. Not my kids. I am not interested in being boxed. Nor am I interested in having my family boxed.
It may sound crazy, but all I can see on the other side of a boxed life is regret. My motivation to live unboxed lies in an intense desire to not have any regrets. I would regret being a suit. I would regret not being a great Dad to my kids. I would regret not being a great husband to my wife.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. I have made many mistakes. I have hurt many people. I don’t rejoice in that. But I refuse to live in bondage to it either. In my mind, that is was regret is. Bondage to the mistakes one has made in the past.
I don’t know how it all works, but I do know that I am where I am now. And I have done what I have done in the past. I love where I am now. I really can’t imagine being in a better place. I am not proud of everything I have done in the past, but those things have not and will not hold me back. And they will definitely not manipulate be into jumping into some box with a bunch of insecure clones.
Life is bigger than that. We all have a unique calling. A unique set of talents. A unique life experience. We don’t all look the same. We don’t all sound the same. To be hung up on superficial things that box us in is, again, is the supreme tragedy. When I look back at my life. When I look at my life now, I am proud of it. And I am extremely excited about the future.
I’m not sure about Johnny Cash, but I do not have regrets. And I have not been boxed. Can you say the same?
unboxed. or no regrets.