In our home, day to day conversations usually have a good dose of movie lines in them. Now, to some this is odd, but when I was growing up and living at home this was common, if not normal. It gave us perspective of things going on around us that was clear to all who knew where the movie line came from.
When we were all crammed in our small family room with extended family on Christmas trying to open Christmas gifts, someone would inevitably and casually say, “We need a bigger boat.”
Movie line…Jaws.
Or when we’d drive up to our new rental house that had a terrible paint job and half the yard was dirt, my dad would jokingly say, “Ahhh, home crap home.”
Movie line…Money Pit.
Stuff like that.
Thankfully this tradition spilled over into my marriage and life with my kids! Because it’s like second nature to me to repeat movie lines (as well as lines from songs). For instance, when we don’t want the kids to touch something – we don’t say, “Please don’t touch that.” Not even, “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” Instead we say, “Noooooo touchy!”
Movie line…Emperor’s New Groove.
By now you’re probably thinking, “how does this have anything to do with a road trip?” Don’t despair, I can weave any topic of life into our 52 week road trip.
Yes. I’m that awesome.
So, back to movie lines. How many of you have seen the movie You’ve Got Mail? I’m pretty sure you all said yes and if you didn’t, where have you been for the past 20 years. A movie with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks?!?! Come on! I mean, hubby and I saw this on New Year’s Eve in 1998! And it’s been one of my favorites ever since. So, the list has like 742 movies on it, but it’s close to the top. Seriously.
For those who’ve seen the movie, fast forward to the scene where Shopgirl (Meg Ryan) and NY152 (Tom Hanks) were going to meet in person for the first time at a little coffee shop. Now, they’ve already met in person, but only know each other by their real names, Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox. They don’t realize they are the people they are chatting with online. Until this night. Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) walks up to the coffee shop, almost delirious with butterflies to meet this woman from online whom he claims is the woman of his dreams. When he peers in the window, he sees a girl sitting there with a book and rose and sees that the girl is Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan). He now knows that his online crush, Shopgirl, is Kathleen Kelly, a woman he has been rivaling with over the opening of his mega bookstore.
Kathleen Kelly doesn’t know this yet and is at war with Joe Fox and can’t wait to meet NY152 – essentially her breath of fresh air in her life.
Joe walks in and sits down with Kathleen and she wants him to go, because she’s expecting NY152 to meet her, not this man who has been a source of pain for her and her business. He’s trying to be nice, because he knows they like each other as online friends, but she’s not buying it. She thinks he’s just being arrogant and is, in her eyes, her enemy.
As their conversation goes on, the topic of him putting her out of business comes up and he say’s that it wasn’t personal it was business. They say this line a lot in the movie, as they do their own movie lines from The Godfather.
Makes me feel like we’re in good company here in my house!
But I digress.
Putting her out of business was not personal, just business. Then Kathleen Kelly goes off. I mean goes off in a fit, not her normal demeanor, and gets a tad rude (and later regrets). She lets him know that it was personal to her! She went into the history of how her mom started their quaint bookstore and how the customers loved her and what she represented. At the very end of her rant, she says a line that rips him to the core – and hurts him. She looks at him with a look of utter sadness and says, “…but plenty of people remember my mother. And they think she was fine and they think her store was something special. You … are nothing but a suit!”
Ouch!
That line has been the definition for many things in our home. When we try to describe someone who his solely focused on work, we say they are a “suit”. If someone has lost their luster for life, we’ve said they’ve become a “suit”.
This brings me to the point of this post. It was a long road to get here, maybe as long as our route to the 48 states, but it’s a great point.
I married an adventurer. Someone who liked to play, not work. Someone who wanted to go and live and do things that were dangerous and crazy. He was willing to take chances and not care what anybody thought. He loved racing cars and motorcycles. He had no fear of anything. In fact we took a personality test when we became youth leaders and Charley came up as a “free spirit.” I always considered myself a free spirit, because I was intrigued with the 60’s, hippies, freedom music and I wish I had been able to attend Woodstock ’69. But I got something like “planner”, not “free spirit”.
Blah. True, but boring.
But, thank God my free-spirited man met me, because I brought him down from the clouds and grounded him a bit.
Yes, I’m the boring one. Sort of. I like adventure. I like fun. Shoot, I even like crazy. But it can’t be too spontaneous. I needed advance warning – like at least 6 weeks so I can plan accordingly. And it sure can’t be illegal. And if I can’t tell my parents, then I’m just not game.
See, I can be free too!
But something happened over the past 16 years of working the corporate life. My husband, the great risk-taker and adventurer, well, he became a tad….blah. He was still an amazing man – my best friend – and the most amazing dad. And not that he had a bad job. His job was great and afforded us many opportunities and the ability to go have fun and do things that most people wouldn’t.
But this isn’t what we did anymore. I mean, we had two kids now. No more crazy ideas and adventures. We were parents, you can’t do stuff like that anymore. I was a full-time stay at home mom. He was a full time corporate person. This meant early mornings, long days, long drives, traveling and lots of sleeping when we was home. His job was slowing sucking the life out of him (yes, I’m being dramatic here). Refer to my first post for my thoughts on this new life.
Where did my free-spirited husband go?
So rewind to about 6-7 months ago to one of our many, many conversations about the topic of work becoming people’s life and people not truly living life anymore. These were always conversations of intense fellowship. Not fighting, but opinionated.
“People have to work!” he would say.
“Yes, but when work becomes someone’s life, that’s not in balance!” I’d respond.
“People have to take care of their families!” he’d throw at me.
“True. But if they never see the family they are taking care of, what’s the point?!” I’d throw back.
Intense. Fellowship.
In fact, he had the opportunity to receive an awesome bonus and he wanted to buy something nice for himself – which he never did – so I was all in favor for that. So he shows me that he wants to buy this fast car – some Cadillac – and I said, “Why? So you can drive faster to work and spend more time there?” (I can throw jabs sometimes and later regret them, just like Kathleen Kelly.) I suggested he buy something the whole family could enjoy together – like a nice Jeep for our day trips to the mountains. That struck a good chord with him and we did end up with an awesome Jeep instead of a fast car for his trips to work!
Score!
Then one day I said it. Not to be mean, but to make a point.
“I know you work hard and we appreciate that. I know you have a great job – I’m so thankful to God for that. I’ve prayed for you our entire marriage to have favor and to excel at your job. I know you have a lot on your plate, but all your energy, conversation and brain power go to your job and we get the leftovers. It’s not fair to us. Hon – you have become a suit.”
Yes. I said it. A movie line. And not a real nice one.
But the love of my life didn’t get mad. He’s awesome that way. He knew what I meant. We had used that line so many times. I wanted him to know that he had lost his luster for life and I wasn’t sure he even realized it.
A couple months after that he shared with me his desire to take a year and go on a road trip. Get a 5th wheel and travel the US – without coming home anywhere in the middle. Wow. Where did that come from?
We talked. We prayed. We got the release to do it.
So one day, after we purchased the F450 and the 5th wheel, we were talking about the trip and I shook my head as all this was still just spinning circles in my brain and he said, “What?” I just looked at him and said, “this is surreal.”
His response?
“That’s what you get for calling me a suit!” with a smirk on his face as he walked away from me.
After he passed behind me and couldn’t see my face, I got my own smirk and internally cheered, “Heee’s baaackkkk!” PTL!
Movie lines.
They have a way of changing ones perspective on life!
Now, six months into the planning, he definitely is no longer a suit.
My free-spirited man has returned and I couldn’t be happier.